Dear Mum, Dad and Sister - 5th

Dear Mum, Dad and Sister

This holiday was the worst ever. I hate you all after this. It fucking sucked and I wanted home from the word 'go'. I was lonely yet I wanted nothing more but to escape and be alone. You all make me sick - you make me want to starve out of spite. Do you know how many times I considered running away from you all? Considered throwing myself in front of a car or over the side of the battlements of a castle? No? Well it was a hell off a lot.

I wanted to straggle you all. On the way to the air port today I actually imagined myself ripping your hearts from your chests, cutting the arteries open and watching you bleed out. Yes, I smiled too, wondering should I torture you first. But then I realised it was better to do it fast. I love you after all - but at the same time I hate you. I am standing on the line that separates the two emotions. And it’s ripping me apart inside.